I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize