i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
