I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
