Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
