he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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