Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
