I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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