Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
