If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize