Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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