Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
