I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
