toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
