I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
