I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
