I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
