We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Houston, we have a blender
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
