Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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