I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you didnt know i had herpes?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
