You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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