Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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