Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
