Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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