i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
