dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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