They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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