I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
