I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
