Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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