yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
