you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
