fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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