Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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