Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Found the puke drawer
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
