I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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