She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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