he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
