peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
