I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
