cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
