it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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