so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize