4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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