In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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