Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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