Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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