dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
