my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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