Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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