her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
