But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
