That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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