With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize