Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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