Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize