you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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