He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize