i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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